Wearing Red & Walking Tall:
A Dame’s Guide to Everyday Confidence
DEAR DAMES
“I’ve always admired women who wear red with confidence—whether it’s a power lipstick or a pair of heels that demand attention. But when I try it? I feel like a kid playing dress-up. It’s not just about the color—it’s about standing tall, speaking up, taking risks… and frankly, I’m better at blending in. How do I find the confidence to embrace my boldness? And does red really make that much of a difference?”
Signed, Beige in Boston
DEAR BEIGE
Red isn’t just a color—it’s a state of mind.
And spoiler alert: confidence doesn’t show up after you feel ready. It shows up when you decide to act like you already are. Confidence is a behavior, not a mood. You wear it. Practice it. Grow into it. Whether it’s a cherry-colored cardigan, a spicy swipe of lipstick, or a moment when you speak up in the meeting before you’re fully sure—it’s all red. And it all counts.
Let’s move you from neutral to noteworthy, starting with a few essential ingredients.
“A bright red purse, even empty, makes you walk with pride.”
Ingredients
RED LIPSTICK OPTIONAL. CONFIDENCE REQUIRED:
- 1 statement piece in red (shoes, scarf, or lipstick—your choice!)
- A full-length mirror (bonus points for post-it note pep talks)
- 1 well-seasoned daily mantra: “I have talent, skills, and knowledge. I can do this.”
- 4 tablespoons of grit
- 3 cups of commitment to doing one thing that nudges you out of your beige zone
Instructions
STEP 1: BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF
Grab a notepad and make a list of where you’ve been playing small. Are you avoiding risks? Hesitating to speak up? Dodging credit when it’s due? Be candid—but leave the judgement out. This is not about shame. This is about self-awareness.
STEP 2: IDENTIFY YOUR “NEUTRAL ZONES”
Pick one area of your life where you’re ready to add color—literally or metaphorically. Whether it’s red lips, a bold ask, or standing taller, visualize yourself doing it. The more specific your mental image, the stronger your follow-through.
STEP 3: TRY IT ON
Once you’ve imagined it, go out and do it! Start with one small act of boldness this week. Just one. Wear the red. Take the risk. Pay attention to how it feels—not in the moment of hesitation, but in the moment after. The one where you realize you did it anyway.
Some of our Dames’ greatest turning points came from saying yes to something scary because they were more afraid of looking back with regret than stepping forward in fear.
For example, one Dame said that she took initiative on a work project that was outside of her comfort zone by volunteering to lead a presentation to senior leadership for the first time.
WANT THE FULL RECIPE?
Chock-full of Dame-worthy quotes, advanced baking tips, and pertinent questions to get your brain percolating.
TEA WITH THE DAMES
Volume 1: Boldly Brewed with Confidence
…is NOW AVAILABLE!
“Oooh, Baby!”
Let your table also make a statement.
Grandmother’s Classic Apple Pie
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